One of my expatriate friends – now happily repatriated back to Canada – wrote an interesting post on her blog about the issue of shoes-on or shoes-off in the home among various cultures. I started to write a comment and I think it was getting a bit long so I decided to turn it into a blog post!

For as long as I can remember, I have lived in a shoes-off environment because its a very Malaysian tradition. Its taboo to wear the same shoes you wear on the street inside your house.

When visiting another Malaysian’s house, we take off our shoes at the entrance without ever being told to. Its very unusual that our host tells us to keep our shoes on. Its also not a practice to provide guests with house slippers to put on after they take off their shoes, although I sometimes ask guests if they would like a pair of sandals to put on. But people take their shoes off without as much as a questioning glance. I hate the feel of the cold floor on my feet so I always wear a pair of specially dedicated sandals whenever I’m at home. I use a separate one in the kitchen because obviously there is where you may step on fat etc.

I remember bringing guests from abroad to our home in Malaysia or inviting Western friends over for a meal and those who are culture-savvy have somehow read up about local practices or they are very observant: its not uncommon for friends who step in with their shoes and seeing that their Malaysian host is barefooted, exclaim: “Oh, I should take off my shoes.” And sometimes, we say to them, “Its OK, keep them on.” Then they say “No, we’ll take them off” and we insist they keep them on, and finally they come in, with or without their shoes depending on which option they’re more comfortable with!

When we lived in England for a while, we noticed that people kept their shoes on at home and although we didn’t wear our shoes indoors we found it difficult to tell others to remove their shoes. I hated carpets inside the home for this reason and we put in a wooden laminated floor in the house we bought so that it was easier to clean. In Dubai and now in Kuwait, my Malaysian friends and visitors usually take their shoes off automatically. Sometimes when we have a women-only gathering and everybody wants to look elegant, we all keep our heels and stilettos on. Afterwards, my maid helps me to clean the floors, of course! Its the same thing when I visit them or when they have a gathering. When I visit my Kuwaiti and other Arab friends I always ask if I should take my shoes off and am always told to keep them on.

There is research which shows that 87% of the dirt found in our homes are tracked in. Mats by the door and inside the door to wipe shoes help to reduce the dirt on shoes but don’t keep all the dirt out. Taking outdoor shoes off at the door is intended to solve the problem of tracking dirt in from the outside. It helps to keep the home environment clean.

But its not the easiest thing to tell all your guests to remove their shoes. I once thought of painting a pretty sign (well, more subtle than the one above LOL) instead I decided to just be very tolerant.

I’ve gotten used to the idea that, depending on their own practices at home, some of my guests will take their shoes off when they come into my home and others will keep them on. Some will ask and some just look for the signs (pun intended!) like other people’s shoes at the door or whether we’re wearing shoes or not.

But not delivery men or workers etc – I always tell them to remove their shoes at the door. Sometimes they don’t speak English so I look at their shoes, wave my index finger and tell them, “No shoes.”  They usually understand. Our janitor is familiar with this by now and he tells the workers he brings to our apartment to remove their shoes!

There is a lot of discussion about the shoes-off or shoe-on issue and obviously the views go both ways. And a Blog called “Shoes Off at the Door, Please” lists 37 reasons for a shoes-off policy.

The Japanese have been practicing this since somewhere between the 8th and 12th centuries and Japanese homes have a shoe rack for guests to put their shoes and provide house slippers for them to wear. The Indians and Swedes also practise this and so do the people of Canada, Iceland, Finland and many more, I’m sure. In Finland, I understand its common practice for people going to someone’s home to bring with them a pair of their own shoes which are used specifically for indoors. There you go.

Personally I think its important to understand that it probably started with good reasons in various countries around the world which practise the shoe-off policy. Today, many people may think of it as purely a cultural thing but I think its not. Its a lifestyle choice and I think the best thing to do is best explained by the adage “when in Rome, do as the Romans do”.

If we ourselves keep our outside shoes on in our home and allow guests to keep their shoes on when they visit, fine. But when we go to someone else’s home, we should be decent enough to see what our hosts practice and not be offended if we need to take our shoes off.

Its the right thing to do, don’t you think? It mightn’t be elegant but its the right thing.